Barbara Gold 
LCSW, LMFT, CST 
Compassion Empathy and Emotional Healing 

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Blog and Podcast:

Let's Talk About S-E-X

That sounds like an easy enough proposal, right? Not so much. I consistently see couples and individuals who have a great deal of difficulty discussing sex-whether with a partner or just with me. Since I’m a sex therapist, it’s a topic I’m very comfortable with, however, I generally have to make it comfortable for my clients before they can begin to open up in a way which feels safe for them. I often joke with couples who are sexually involved: “You can do it; you just can’t talk about it!” For those who aren’t being sexual with each other, it is at least as difficult a topic to broach. Talking about sex often constitutes a level of risk. Will the listener be accepting or judging? Will the person speaking feel a sense of shame just by talking about sex? If they judge themselves, it is all the more likely that they will fear judgment from others. Since our culture doesn’t teach us how to talk about sex, or even how to think about it in a healthy, constructive manner, it’s no small surprise that so many struggle with it, not only verbally, but in all matters sexual. This includes things such as body image, sexual preferences, libido and the most often asked or unasked question: “Am I normal.” To that question my reply is that “normal” is a setting on a washing machine. We are all different, and we are all free from judgment unless we make it so for ourselves. I would be interested in hearing any input people might like to share on this topic. This is why my book has a section with the same title as this post. To learn more about talking about sex, I encourage you to read the section!